I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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