I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
