i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
