she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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