At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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