the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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