I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
