if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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