well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
