so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
