who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.