Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.