Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did I show you my penis last night?
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my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
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I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.