Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dating After Heartbreak
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills