Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
