Yo dont text me then not text me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize