oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
