CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
