where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
