Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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