I seem to have left my pride at pride
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
