Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
