With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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