bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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