I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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