I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
