Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
