this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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