Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
