FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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