ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
