I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
