well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.