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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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• (562): View more from California

  she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.

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  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  How have you survived this long?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Bring gay.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...

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• (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life

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