Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???