Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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