I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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