i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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