When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
