unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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