the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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