Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
