It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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