I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.