I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.