I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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