You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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