I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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