Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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