While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
