never play flip cup with pint glasses
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
