there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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