that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
