this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
