How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize