So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
