So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize