Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
