life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
