I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
