he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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