so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
