I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
