I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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