That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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