fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize