dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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