how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
