Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So vagazzling was a success
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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