I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
