I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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