you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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