Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Oh god it's open bar.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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